Mad Love Series, Part VII: Burn it to the Ground
by KELZTASTiC
Summary: Upon making a life-changing decision, Harley heads to New York to help Pam, who is in dire need. What will she do next?
1. Burn it to the Ground

**A/N: Wow guys, part 7. Who knew that six (YES SIX) years ago, this story would turn out like this? I saw the Dark Knight in theaters and was immediately inspired by the brilliant performance of Heath Ledger as the Joker and the handsome Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne. I am amazed at this story every day. Sometimes it doesn't feel real that I wrote it. I look back and can't believe it. So strange. Well, here's the beginning of part 7, and I hope it explains a lot of the cliffhangers that I left you with. Read and review, loyal readers! **

**Mad Love Series, Part VII: Burn it to the Ground **

_I know I left you._

_I know I broke your heart._

_I don't think you're ever going to forgive me, and I don't think I'm ever going to forgive myself._

_But you broke my heart, too. You know that. _

_You will be better off without me. _

Chapter 1: Burn it to the Ground

_When you fall, I'll take my turn_

_And fan the flames_

_As your blazes burn_

_We can't wait to burn it to the ground._

"_Burn it Down", Linkin Park _

Driving up to the prison was not exactly the first thing I wanted to do when I got to New York; shopping on Fifth Avenue would probably be priority but I'm being facetious. I mean, I wasn't prepared to talk to Pam about what had happened between me and him. My sister had wanted to come with me, but I insisted that this was something I had to do alone. We had a lot to talk about and I was wary of how to go about it. I wanted to ignore it, to not talk about it at all really and by that I mean I would have rather been tit-punched 100 times than talk about it with anyone, but that didn't seem very mature. Not that I'm the most mature person who ever lived or anything.

When I got to the door, the guards checked my ID (now bearing my new name, which I still had to get used to) and I walked through the metal detector. They scanned my mint-condition Nebraska driver's license and handed me a badge that said 'visitor'.

"Who are you visiting today…Annabelle James?" the woman at the front desk asked, furrowing her brow while reading my driver's license.

"Pamela Isley." I replied.

"Friend or family?"

"Friend."

"Ok, the length of the visit will be limited to one hour and will be under direct supervision by security guards. You may not bring any food or electronic devices into the holding room. So I need your phone and any other electronics you have with you. I will give you a number so you can come back and get it at the end of the visit." The woman said, and she held out her hand for my purse.

I handed her my phone and my Kindle and she put it into the box. I didn't like this system but I didn't have much of a choice. I was lucky no had questioned my ID. I had changed my appearance a little since I had been back in the states; I dyed my hair a little darker blonde and started wearing my glasses again.

"Oh my god, you're finally here!" Pam jumped up and hugged me so tightly I couldn't breathe, "Ew, are you wearing glasses?"

"No touching!" snapped the guard who was wandering around trying to look intimidating with his stupid night stick thing.

Pam merely gave him a dirty look and we sat down at the table.

"Yes, I am wearing my glasses because I would prefer no one ask who I am. How are you?" I asked.

"Well, it's prison, you know, so I guess I could be better." She said wryly.

"Yeah, orange isn't really your color." I commented.

"Hate you a lot right now." Pam gave me a dead-pan look, "What took you so long to get here?"

"Getting money together, you know, finding a not super expensive flight…" I rattled off some very excuse-like things in order to avoid the topic of my fleeing from domestic bliss.

"What does it matter? You have money." She looked puzzled. She obviously didn't know still. Fuck. I was hoping someone else could have told her, but then again what the hell am I thinking? Who was going to tell her? The magical fairy who informs people of my stupidity? Man, that would be a full-time position.

"No…no, I don't. Not anymore." I said reluctantly.

"What?" she exclaimed, "What happened?!"

"Umm…I just don't have to access to money because I'm not exactly…" My voice caught in my throat, and I looked away, trying to avoid her piercing eyes.

She stared at me for what felt like a thousand years and finally said, "Jesus Christ, Harley."

"Yeah." I said weakly. There was nothing else I could say.

"What did you do?"

"What did I do?! What's that supposed to mean?" I shot back at her.

"Well, you obviously left him, not the other way around. What the fuck happened? Everything was fine!" she almost shrieked, but she knew she had tone it down while the guards were around, "What changed in the mere amount of hours since I talked to you last?"

"Well, when we talked, I was already in Omaha…and everything wasn't fine, Pam. You didn't know. Things changed. He changed. He's so…domestic now, so happy. It's disturbing."

"That's what we humans call 'normal', Harleen." Pam gave me the most infuriating sarcastic look.

"Don't be condescending, it's not a good look on you." Oh, sarcasm right back. My defense mechanism as usual.

"Don't get pissy with me. You're the one who fucked up here." She pointed at me emphatically.

"I don't need to hear it. I did what I did and that's all there is to it."

"You're dodging the question."

"I don't want to talk about it." I said obstinately, looking away from her, feeling the sting of tears forming at my eyes.

"Don't cry. Seriously. I'm not putting up with that." Pam snapped, "Clearly you have some kind of problem that you're not discussing with me. Are you not in love with him anymore? What about your daughter, Harley? Or did you just forget about her?!"

"No, I still care deeply about him. The fact is that I think I do love him but I don't like what he's become. He's not the same person I fell in love with, Pam. You know I feel even worse about leaving my child. Don't throw that in my face. I love my daughter. I love her more than the world but I couldn't leave him completely alone. That would have been too big of a blow for him to stand."

"Oh well, gee, at least you spared him that." She said wryly.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you to make you understand." I shot back, "I made my decision and I can't go back. I can't make him be the person I fell in love with. He's going to be happier without me. He just wanted a baby so he could find an excuse to stop being a criminal."

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You're simplifying the story to make you look like the good guy."

"Duh?"

"Harley I'm going to murder you where you stand."

"You're already in jail. I think you should cool it." I raised my eyebrow.

"Are you trying to piss me off? Seriously?"

"No, I'm trying to explain my side of the story but you're not listening to me. And the point of me being here isn't to share my ongoing melodrama."

"Oh, then pray tell, what is the point?" she leaned back in the metal chair, folding her arms across her chest.

"The point is to figure out how to get you out of here." I leaned in closer, "If I can get you transferred you to Arkham, I can find a way to make sure you don't have to be there long."

"That's your plan? Put me in the fucking nuthouse?"

"Yes, oh ye of little faith, because I have a way of persuading the people that work there. I don't think you should be worried about that. We just have to get you a good lawyer and you can plead insanity." I said, "That's the best thing we can do at this point. I can't let you rot here for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, that would be nice." She said wryly, "Did you talk to my parents?"

I hesitated.

She stared at me, "You need to tell me."

"I did talk to them. They are willing to come out here and help."

Pam's face lit up, "Really? I can't believe it, I – "

I interjected, "There's a caveat."

Her face fell, "Somehow I knew it was too good to be true."

"Yes, they said they will come out here, provide all the money and legal help possible, if you just sit down with them and tell them the truth about why you are in prison. I didn't want to share that information with them. I just told them that it was very complicated and you would have to explain when they get here."

Pam was quiet for a moment, "I'd have to tell them everything? Even the whole lesbian business?"

"Yes I would imagine that goes along with the territory." I replied.

She looked at me right in the eyes, "I'm scared to do that."

"Well, you're going to have to. They need to know everything before they hire a lawyer."

"Can you stay in New York until they get here and help them find a lawyer? I need someone that you can trust." Pam grabbed my hands, "Harley, even though I'm beyond pissed at you right now, I need you. You're my best friend."

"So are you." I squeezed her hand, "It's going to be ok. I didn't buy a return ticket yet because I didn't know what was going to happen. I'll just call my sister and tell her I'll come back when I can."

"Ok," she looked relieved.

The guard announced, "Visitors, 5 more minutes until visiting time is over!"

Pam turned to me, panicked, tears fresh in her eyes, "Come back tomorrow."

"I will." I promised. We both stood up.

"I wish I could give you a hug but I don't want to get yelled at." I bit my lip.

"I know." She wiped at her eyes, "We're going to get through this. I'm just terrified. I never thought that this would happen to me."

"Believe me, neither did I."

She walked me to the door, we said our goodbyes, and I gave her one last attempting-to-be-reassuring look, and left. After a couple of minutes, I was lost in the labyrinth of a prison. I finally came upon an open office door, and peered my head inside to ask for help. I froze. Barbara Gordon was sitting at the desk, filing some papers. She glanced up, and jolted.

"Jesus Christ." She breathed.

"Fuck me." I muttered.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you a fugitive from the law? I could arrest you right now." She hissed.

"Good luck with that, considering I am no longer legally Harleen Quinzel." I leaned against the doorframe, "I would tell you to call the FBI but I think that would prove futile."

"How? How did you manage to get into witness protection? After all you've done?" she snapped, "You've killed people."

"I'll just say it pays to know someone connected closely to the government." By that I meant a little someone we know and love called Bruce Wayne.

She narrowed her eyes, "You have a lot of nerve coming here."

"No, you have a lot of nerve talking to me like this, you cunt-bag." I retorted, "You fucked over my only friend and now you have me to deal with. Me and two very rich people who can fix this little problem."

"There is no way in hell that you are going to get Pam out of this. I know everything she's ever done." Barbara sneered.

"Barb, the only way I know is the way to hell." DAMN I WAS PROUD OF THAT ONE.

She glared at me, "I think you should just leave."

I stepped inside closer, closer until I was almost breathing on her, "I will leave. I just want you to know that you are dead. You will pay for what you did to Pam. That's a promise, and I will make good on it. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

And with that, I turned around and strode out of the office before she could say another word. As I walked down the halls, I wanted so badly to give myself a high-five for being so bad-ass, but that would have been super lame. I won't say whether or not I did it but it would have been super lame either way.

I finally found my way out of the prison, retrieved my phone from the front desk and walked back out into the light of day. I looked down at my phone; a couple texts from my sister and one missed call from Bruce Wayne. I answered my sister's texts first – she just wanted to know how the meeting with Pam had gone – and I didn't know what to do about calling Bruce back. It was hard to explain, what happened between me and Bruce. I didn't tell Pam the real reason why I had left the Joker, and I didn't plan on telling her anytime soon.

I got into my car, and drove back toward the city. I drove on until I reached Wayne Manor and parked in the garage; I had borrowed his 'shittiest' car, meaning his Mercedes-Benz that was 5 years old, because I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself. I walked inside the house and Alfred was in the kitchen, making lunch.

"Hello, Miss Quinzel, would you like anything to eat?" he asked.

"Yes, please, whatever you're making is fine, I'm sure." I said.

"A chopped salad and some spicy chicken sandwiches." He elaborated.

"That sounds great. You're the best, Alfred."

"I've missed you being around, Miss Quinzel. That Selina Kyle was not my favorite person." He remarked.

I smiled, "What do you mean?"

"It isn't that she wasn't kind to me or anything, but I did not like the way she treated Mr. Wayne, abandoning him like that, left to take care of his son." He shook his head, "Such a shame."

I felt like someone had just punched me hard in the gut.

He looked up, "Oh I am so sorry, I did not mean it like that, Miss Quinzel. I'm sure you had your reasons for –"

"Alfred, don't worry about it. I am punishing myself every day for it." I sighed, and walked out of the kitchen to find Bruce.

"He's in the study!" Alfred called after me.

"Thank you!" I called in return.

I found Bruce sitting in his armchair, reading the New York Times. He hadn't changed much. He smiled as I came in, "Hi."

"Hi." I flopped down unceremoniously onto the couch.

"What happened?" he asked, sitting down at the edge of the couch by my feet.

"I talked to Pam, and ran into Barbara."

"Yikes."

"So eloquent, thank you." I said sarcastically, "That encounter was venomous at best. I can't believe you fight crime with her."

"She's loyal. And Dick seems to like her. I can't really avoid her." He shrugged.

"UGH."

"Elaborate."

"She's just such a huge bitch. She ruined Pam's life and you knew about it."

"I didn't know about the whole relationship thing that she did. I was in Italy when that was going on. Dick was the mastermind behind that scheme. I only watched it happen. We weren't exactly on good terms at the time so I wasn't really thinking about the consequences. I also didn't think that you were going to leave Italy, like…ever…so, you can't really blame me."

"I understanding your justification but I don't like it." I sat up, "I talked to Pam, and we're going to find her a lawyer. I have to call her parents and tell them to book their tickets to New York and it's going to be a long haul. I'm going to have to stay in New York until it's over. Are you sure you're alright with me staying here? I feel like I'm freeloading."

"You're not freeloading. I owe you big time. Plus you can help take of Edward."

"I think you're being too nice to me."

"Harley, you don't need to feel bad. You needed to leave the Joker. You had to. You shouldn't have been with him in the first time, but that's not the point. There are some things we can't take back. He's not going to come after you this time. He has Olivia to worry about."

As he was talking, I burst into tears. He rushed forward, and embraced me, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"No, it's not your fault. I just miss my daughter so much. I want her back, Bruce. I can't stand being without her, but I had to leave her. I had to let him have her. He wanted that child so badly and I gave it to him. I couldn't take her away from him. I couldn't just leave him like that. He would have killed me. I did what I had to but it's breaking my heart every single day to think she'll never have me in her life."

"You don't know that." He said, "Maybe you guys will work something out."

"Oh yeah that seems totally plausible." I snapped, releasing him, "I've lost his trust forever. You can't tell me that you'll ever trust Selina again. I don't even know why you're letting me stay here. I did the same thing she did."

"Yeah, but Selina and I weren't happy. You know that. I knew she wasn't happy. She's too independent to be saddled with a boyfriend and a child. She also doesn't have qualms about anything; she just does what she wants and fuck everyone else. You do care. You have a heart. You're different than her. I'm not saying that what you did was right by any means, but in the circumstance you were in, you had to. I appreciate beyond anything that you came back here and told me the truth."

"Bruce, when he told me he was going to blow up Wayne Enterprises, that's when I had to leave. I had to tell you. I couldn't let you die and if that makes me sentimental, then that's on me. I couldn't let all this innocent people die because he has a grudge." I cringed at the memory of when he told me a few weeks ago, when I was sitting at the kitchen table. He had told me over dinner, over spaghetti with our daughter in her high chair, like it was nothing. Like planting a bomb in Wayne Enterprises with the intention of killing everyone inside was no big deal. I knew then that I couldn't stay there anymore.

Even though I loved him when he was a monster, I couldn't let him kill Bruce. I didn't know what that meant, but my instinct told me it was the right thing to do. I called Bruce the next day when I got into JFK airport and he picked me up right then and there. I told him everything and he closed the offices the next day. He moved everyone to different locations and alerted the building managers, who said they were going to keep surveillance constantly at the building. We kept it hush-hush so that the Joker would think that he was blowing up Wayne Enterprises but he was going to find out after it was all over that no one was inside. I didn't know when he was planning to do it, but I had to stop it. I had to sacrifice our happiness, my motherhood, for this.

"I just really hope it was all worth it." I said.

"Harley, it will be."

"You don't know that."

"What I do know is that you saved my life. You saved my employees' lives. Even though there's a lot of bullshit that has happened between us, I have to admit that you've saved me, and I am indebted to you. I will do anything to help you. You stay here as long as you like, do what you need to do. You're free."

Free. Now that's not a word I was used to hearing.


	2. Nothing Scares Me Anymore

**A/N: Pam's parents arrive woop woop. Finally getting my writing streak back, so hoping you'll see more of me! ~Kelztastic**

Chapter 2: Nothing Scares Me Anymore

_Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere_

_Nothing scares me anymore_

_Kiss me hard before you go, summertime sadness_

_I just wanted you to know_

_That, baby, you're the best_

"_Summertime Sadness," Lana Del Rey _

Look, I know that my living temporarily with Bruce Wayne is completely and utterly shameful. I know that I'm stupid and blind. But at this point, I had to take what I could get as far as sympathy. My only friend was in prison and my sister lived in Nebraska. No real allies here. I made it clear to Bruce that being in his house didn't mean we could get into any shenanigans. No matter how good he still looked. I would never not admit that Bruce was a handsome guy, a very smart and well-dressed guy, but he was volatile at best. He had a lot of problems that he had to work out, and I'm not saying I don't either. That should be pretty obvious at this point in the game. Bruce and I had a mutual understanding of our roles in each other's lives. Or, at least, I think we did.

After Bruce went out to run some errands with Edward, I called Pam's parents again to relay the 'good' news. Pam's mother, Angela, picked up, "Hello?"

"Hi, Angela, it's H-Annabelle James." I still kept fucking up when it came to my fake name.

"Hello, Annabelle." She said, sounding a little tense, "How did it go today? What did Pamela say?"

"Pam is ok with you guys coming out here and she was reluctant, but willing to tell you the truth about what has happened since she left. I had to persuade her, but she's willing."

"Ok, that's good to hear. Michael and I will book a flight as soon as possible and perhaps I can give you a call when we get there." She said.

"Yes, please do. Pam really wants me to be involved in the lawyer process. She trusts you but I know a little more about her situation."

"Yes, that makes sense to me. I can't thank you enough, Annabelle, for all that you've done for Pam. I appreciate that you have stood by her through all of this, even though you live so far away."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all." I said dismissively, "Please, don't worry about it. Give me a call when you know more about when you're getting here and I will talk to Pam for you."

"That would be great." She affirmed, "I'll give you a call soon."

"Alright, talk to you later."

"Good-bye." We hung up.

I didn't know why Pam was so weird about her parents. Her mom seemed pretty nice for a woman whose daughter was facing life in prison and hadn't seen her for like 8 or 9 years, let alone talked to her in that amount of time. It takes a lot of love to do what they're doing for her. Pam always just made it sound like they were shitty parents and were super distant when she was growing up. I didn't totally believe everything she said because she held grudges like nobody's business, but her mother did seem kind of uptight. I hadn't even spoken to her father so I didn't know how he was feeling about the situation. I guess I would find out soon enough.

And I was starting to get a little anxious, considering I had sort of lied to Pam about what her parents said. Her parents had agreed to come help, no caveats necessary, but I told a little white lie to Pam so that she would at least tell them the truth. I'm sure she was going to kill me for doing this, but she needed to make up with her parents. They loved her and cared about her, and she needed to see that.

I turned on a marathon of Sex and the City playing on E! and stared at the television for a couple hours. I had to do something mindless. There was just way too much going on in my head. I didn't really know what to do. Some days I just wanted to cry, some days I just wanted to die, scream, throw things at a wall. I think I had just gotten used to the idea that I was a bad person all these years, that I belonged with the Joker because I was willing to throw my life away for him. All the times I could have been happy. All the times I could have been normal. I threw them away. When he told me what he was planning to do, I panicked. I couldn't let him kill people. Maybe I actually was a good person in a way? But then again, not. It was all so very confusing. Thanks, moral ambiguity!

Bruce came home, Edward in tow. Every time I saw Edward, it felt like he was just getting bigger and he looked more and more like Bruce every day, which sort of used to hurt my feelings, but now it was endearing in a way. He did have Selina's big, expressive green eyes and her paler skin tone. He was like almost 9 months old now. I knew because he was 2 months older than Olivia. I felt a pang surge through my heart.

Bruce looked at me, "Are you okay? You seem distant."

"I'm thinking about…" I glanced at Edward.

He picked up Edward, who was fussing a little, and sat down next to me on the couch. He looked up at the TV, "How many times have you seen these episodes?"

"None of your business." I said swiftly.

He smiled, "I know you're upset. I think that, if you really want to, we could investigate some legal action and get Olivia back to you. I think that the government would probably frown upon the fact that a known fugitive is taking care of a baby."

"He's such a good father, though." I sighed, "That's not the problem. I just don't know if I am going to leave him indefinitely. I am going to have to talk to him eventually."

"He hasn't even tried to contact you at all?"

"No." I shook my head, "Nothing. He has his ways of finding out where I am. I'm sure he does know by this point."

"Then why do you think he hasn't tried to talk to you?"

"Probably because I've done this before, as embarrassing as it is. I have the tendency to run away when I get overwhelmed."

Bruce was silent.

I flushed, "Yeah, I guess you would know."

"Yeah, that's a fun memory."

"Sorry." I said quietly.

"I mean, haven't sufficiently been hurt by that enough, need to be reminded of it once in a while." He said, simpering.

"Ok, sarcasm unnecessary."

"Please just continue."

"What I was saying was that he knows how I am. Maybe he's just expecting me to come back sooner or later and he's not that worried. But at the same time, I guess it does look a little suspicious that I bolted as soon as I found out about him wanting to blow Wayne Enterprises sky high." I bit my lip.

"You're just considering this now?" he raised an eyebrow.

I cringed, "Yeah…"

"Harley, for someone so smart, sometimes you really do not think."

"Hey, don't start getting sassy with me." I snapped, "I know you harbor a lot of bad feelings for me, but you don't need to get on my case. I saved your life."

"Ok, well, now here you go." He rolled his eyes, "You're going to hold that over my head for the rest of my life. I'm not denying that I'm still indebted to you but you are definitely not allowed to keep bringing that up to get me to do what you want."

"I thought it would be a perk." I said wistfully.

He gave me a dead-pan glare, so I wiped the smile off my face.

"Anyway," he continued, "You need to at least talk to him."

"I'll get around to it eventually."

"That's not a sufficient response."

"I don't know what you want me to say. I am definitely not going to talk to him right now. He's probably kinda pissed off at me."

"Kinda?" he reiterated in a condescending tone.

"Yes, well, I'm not flawless. All evidence to the contrary."

He didn't laugh.

"Dude, give me something. I'm drowning over here." I held out my hands, and he gave me Edward, who stumbled over a couple syllables, "Ba…da…"

I smiled, "God, he's already starting to talk."

"Yeah, he mostly says 'baba' or 'dada' for the most part." He played with Edward's little chubby fingers, "They grow up too fast."

"I hope I know the feeling."

Bruce fell silent for a moment, and finally said, "You know, we could go get Olivia. We can raise her and Edward together. Maybe they'd even get married or something."

"You tell me that I don't think sometimes." I exhaled deeply, "That's just not going to happen. You are way too much of an idealist. It's that good guy part of you. That's not how the real world works, Bruce. And I think you're starting to get into some dangerous territory here."

"Sorry, sorry." He said, shaking his head, "I didn't mean for you to think about it that way. I just meant that we could get her back here and we would still be good friends, we could hang out with our children together. That's what I meant."

"Yeah, I get it." I said, giving him a half-hearted smile, "I would really like that."

I was getting nervous about the way Bruce was talking. I knew that my staying here was going to be a problem, that old feelings were going to surface. Blargh. He's a fucking idiot.

"Did you talk to Pam's parents?" he asked.

I secretly was relieved he changed the subject.

"Yeah, I did. They're booking the flight to come out here as soon as possible. They really need to find a lawyer when they get here, so could you maybe recommend one?"

"Definitely. Let me check my contact list and I can maybe get you one of the lawyers we contract for out of office disputes." He said, standing up, "I'll put Edward down for his nap."

"Ok." I said, gingerly handing him over, "That would be great if you could find someone. Obviously, price is no object."

"Yeah, I assumed. I'll take care of it, don't worry."

"Perfect, thanks."

He left the room and I was left with my thoughts. Yes, I know how absolutely cliché that is. I never said I was a perfect writer.

…

Angela Isley called me later that day to tell me that they had booked their flight to New York to arrive the following Monday, and I informed Bruce. He said he would send a car, but I insisted that I at least go pick them up. To me, it just seemed very strange to let them come here by themselves, so he agreed that he would go with me. I didn't think that was necessary but, like I had before, he insisted.

We got to JFK about an hour before they were supposed to arrive. We waited in the terminal, and I just stood there awkwardly.

"Maybe we should have brought a sign or something." Bruce joked.

I gave him a dead-pan look.

"Kidding!"

"Yeah, it just wasn't a good joke."

"You're a bit sassy today." He commented.

"Honey, I'm a bit sassy every day. It's my coping mechanism."

He rolled his eyes. He looked up and nudged me, "You think that's them?"

I looked in the direction he was pointing and saw a late 50's-age couple walking towards us. The woman was curvy, but still very much in shape for a woman her age, with straight auburn hair and dressed in a chic black long-sleeved dress and carrying a Dior purse. The man with her was taller, distinguished, with greying hair that was once brown, and dressed sharply in a Ralph Lauren sweater and khakis. They had to be Pam's parents.

I waved at them, "Angela! Michael!"

She squinted at me, and then waved back, "Oh, hello dear!"

We walked up to meet them. Michael shook Bruce's hand, "Hello, Mike Isley. Are you Annabelle's husband?"

"Oh Jesus no." I interjected quickly.

All of them laughed. Angela pulled me into a hug, "Nice to finally meet you, dear." She had one of those East Coast fancy voices, like I only imagined Katherine Hepburn had.

"Nice to meet you, too. God, you look so much like Pam." I said.

"I hope that's meant to be a compliment!" she chuckled, "Pam always did take after me, right, Michael?"

"Indeed." He said.

I looked over at Bruce and raised my eyebrows. Indeed? Indubitably, old bean.

"I'm Bruce Wayne." Bruce said, shaking Angela's hand.

"Oh, yes, the multibillionaire! We've heard of you. I think one of your team came out to Seattle to work with Michael's company." Angela smiled widely.

"Right, right, you guys work in environmental business, wind and solar energy?" Bruce nodded.

"Yes, I'm semi-retired now, but I still go into work every day."

"Oh, he's a workaholic. I need someone at home to drink martinis with me!" Angela rubbed Michael's shoulder, "But he's a good husband, always providing."

"I bet!" I said. I think Pam had been quite wrong about her parents, at first impression. Yeah, they were a little snooty, but Bruce and I didn't have problems with that. We grew up in the 1 percent circuit, the fancy dinner parties and the monocles. I mean, not a lot of monocles, but I saw a few, I promise.

"Well, the town car is waiting, so can I help you with your bags, Angela?" Bruce asked.

"Thank you darling, that would be wonderful."

We walked out to the town car, packed it up, and we were on our way.

"How far do you live from the prison, dear?" Angela asked, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"About 45 minutes to an hour." Bruce replied, "Annabelle will drive you. She's been there already."

"Oh good." Angela turned to me, "How are the conditions?"

"Umm, well, it's a prison…"

"Right, right, what the hell am I thinking?" she shook her head, "I guess I'm a little out of touch."

"No, it's fine. I understand. It's not that horrible, I guess. Pam has her own cell which she says is lucky, the best possible scenario." I felt weird talking about this. It seemed very surreal.

"Yes, I suppose it is." Michael said, and fell silent.

I saw Angela grab his hand and squeeze it. Clearly they both were affected, but Angela was just a little better at putting on a show.

"I think we will just have to assess it for ourselves." She said, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, definitely." I affirmed.

"I will have you guys stay up in the guest bedroom. It's got a queen-sized bed, your own bathroom, so you won't have to worry about running into us or anything." Bruce changed the subject, "And my butler, Alfred, is there to help you with anything you may need while I'm not around. I do have to go back to work tomorrow, but Annabelle will show you guys around too if you want."

"Yeah, for sure." I agreed with him, "We want you guys to have the best time possible. I know the circumstances aren't ideal, but…"

"That's very sweet, Annabelle, and yes, Bruce, that all sounds lovely." Angela said, "First class service all the way."

We arrived back at Wayne Manor, and Bruce and I left Angela and Michael to unpack and get acquainted with their new lodgings. We went down to the kitchen to grab a snack and process what had just happened.

He sighed, handing me a can of soda, "God, they must be in hell."

"I know. She acts so strong, but she's not. I know she's not. But maybe they'll feel a little better once they see her." I said, shrugging, "I felt better once I saw her. I think that the unknown was scarier."

"Yeah." He said simply, "Aren't you worried that she's going to find out that you lied to her?"

"I don't plan on being there for that. I'm going to wait in the waiting room the whole time. I really would prefer not to run into Barbara the cunt-bag Gordon again."

"She's not that bad of a person."

"You are talking about the enemy, so I'm ignoring you."

"Fine, fine. I think you should be there to talk to her. She's going to freak if you don't."

"I hate it when you're right." I pouted.


	3. You See Through Me

**A/N: I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It was one of those ones that felt very organic and flowed right out of my head. Enjoy! ~Kelztastic  
**

Chapter 3: You See Through Me

_I always thought it was a shame _

_That we have to play these games_

_It felt like you really knew me._

_Now it feels like you see through me._

"_Sunset", The xx _

"Thank you ever so much for driving us to the prison, dear." Angela said, taking out her compact and checking her make-up application, "We really appreciate it."

"Oh, it's my pleasure." I said, "I want to help as much as I can. Bruce said he'll make some calls to his company lawyers and see if they can recommend anyone for the trial."

"That would be great." Angela nodded, "He seems like a very fine man, that Bruce. Are you sure you two aren't dating? I sense a little…something between you." She intertwined her fingers to illustrate her point.

"Oh no, that's not a thing." I said, shifting uncomfortably in the driver's seat, trying my very best not to look her in the eye, "Well, I mean, we dated a couple years ago, but it didn't work out."

"Ah, I see, unrequited love. I could tell. I think he is still in love with you, dear. You'd better be careful."

"Noted." I said simply. Jesus. Was it that obvious to everyone around us? Angela didn't even know us and she was picking up on the bad vibes. Ugh, that was quite unfortunate.

"Is this prison honestly terrible? I just want to be prepared." Mike finally piped up.

"It's…I don't know what I was expecting, really. I've never been in a prison." I lied. They don't need to know about my past. Not yet, at least, "I think that it's livable. I imagined worse."

"Well, that's fine, then." He said, "I think we all expect the worst in these situations."

"Yes, very true." I affirmed.

Pam's father was not as good of an actor as her mother was; I mean, maybe her mother was more optimistic, tougher emotionally than her father. My parents had been the same way. My father acted very tough and stiff when he was at work – obviously as a surgeon he had to be objective – but when my mother fell ill, he lost it completely. I knew then that my mom had been the rock of that relationship, and I was getting that same impression from Pam's parents. It's funny how that works out. It also made me more at ease, that I could deal with them easier than I had hoped.

We arrived at the prison, and Angela lowered her vintage Chanel sunglasses to survey the place, "My goodness, it's quite stark, isn't it?"

I resisted the urge to utter something sarcastic, and instead merely said, "Yes."

"Let's get to it." She straightened her sunglasses and unbuckled her seatbelt, "Ready, Michael?"

"As I'll ever be."

We got out of the car, and Angela strode in front of us. She opened the door and peered inside, "Who do I talk to about seeing a visitor?"

The woman working at the receptionist's desk raised her hand, "Over here, ma'am."

She walked over, placing her black leather purse next to her on the desk, "Yes, hello young lady, I am here to see my daughter, Pamela Isley. We made an appointment."

The receptionist gave Pam's mom the once-over. I was pretty sure they weren't used to seeing upper-class women in there, let alone one of Angela's stature and blunt personality. She checked the visitor's list, "Yes, I see that we have Angela and Michael Isley, and another woman named Annabelle James for today."

"That's us." I said, pointing at Mike and then myself.

"I need your ID's." she said, holding out her hand. Michael and I pressed our driver's licenses into her open palm and she looked at them briefly, handing them back. I was very glad for our clearly nonchalant justice system that they didn't ask me questions about my ID.

"Thank you. You must leave all electronic devices up here with me."

Angela blinked a couple of times, "Really?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Angela glanced at Michael, "It's like the 1800's in here."

"That's the rules, ma'am." The receptionist said, raising her eyebrow, "You may take your purse but you must hand over your cell phone or any other devices."

"UGH." Angela said audibly, and dug through her purse, handing the woman her iPhone, Kindle, and iPad. Michael handed over only his Blackberry and I gave them my iPhone.

"Enter the visitor's center through those doors over there on your left. I will page the guard to bring the inmate to you." She said, pressing a button that buzzed us through the doors.

"Inmate?" Mike muttered, "How barbaric."

I bit my lip, suddenly feeling very anxious. I never thought I'd be there to see Pam and her parents' reunion after 5 years of barely even speaking. I had no idea how this was going to go. I followed closely behind them into the visitor room, and the guard asked her who we were seeing, and Angela told them. He nodded, "You requested a private meeting, correct?"

"Yes." Angela replied.

"Follow me, then." He gestured at us.

We followed him out of the room and down a long corridor to a bunch of closed doors. He took out his keys and opened one of the first doors on the left, and told us to go inside and take a seat, and that a guard would be bringing her shortly.

We all took a seat at a table with four metal chairs. The room was quite bare, just white walls and a concrete floor.

"Wouldn't kill them to put a painting or something in here." I commented, and the Isleys both laughed, which I hoped would lighten the tension a little.

After a few more minutes, the door opened, and a tall, African-American burly security guard came through the door, Pam right behind him. She looked up and her eyes widened.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad." She said clumsily, "I didn't think we would be meeting under these circumstances."

Angela reached forward to embrace her, "At least hug me before making apologies."

Pam looked at the guard, and he nodded. She hugged Angela for a long time, and then hugged her dad, a little more stiffly.

The guard said, "I will be waiting right outside the room if you need anything."

"Thank you." Mike said, and the guard closed the door behind him.

Silence.

Finally, I opened my mouth to alleviate the sheer awkwardness, "How are things going today, Pam?"

She glared at me, "Really? That's the first thing you want to say?"

"Pamela, don't be rude to your friend."

"Here we go." Pam folded her arms across her chest, "Fantastic start."

"If you're going to be a bitch, we can leave." I snapped right back at her, "Your parents came all the way from Seattle to help you and you know as well as I do that it took a lot for them to get on that plane. You're being ungrateful."

She fell silent for a moment, and Angela touched my shoulder, "Annabelle, I think we can take it from here."

I sat back and just let them talk.

"Pamela, let's just start from the most important point. Why are you in prison?"

"Mom, it's way more complicated than you can imagine and I don't think you want to hear all of the things I've done."

"Well, we're going to have to hear about all of it because we don't want to be surprised in court when it all comes out." Angela retorted. I was impressed. She made a fair point.

Pam couldn't deny that. She sighed deeply, "Ugh, where do I even begin?"

"Just tell us everything. We have to hear it." Her mother coaxed.

"Ok, well, I guess it started when I went to Harvard."

"All the way back then?" her father raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, dad. During my sophomore year, I met Dr. Woodrue." I saw the pain flash across her eyes, and I remembered briefly our encounter with him, "Dr. Woodrue encouraged me to do work him as his assistant in the biology department, which I did. Not long after I started working with him, we started sleeping with each other."

"Pamela…" her mother said quietly.

"Yes. At the time, yes, he was married. I was in love with him. I didn't care. I thought he would leave his wife for me, but instead, he took advantage of me. He experimented on me, injecting me with toxins. My skin turned green for months; I still can't quite get it out, no matter what I've tried. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want to see him go to jail and I knew I'd get kicked out anyway because I had an unprofessional relationship with a professor. So, I dropped out at the end of my junior year, and got a job at a clothing store so I could just get by, live on my own. Obviously, you guys never knew about any of this."

Pam's parents were astoundingly quiet during this whole exchange. Finally, Angela said, "So, whenever I called, you told me that you were really busy with class. You told me that you didn't want to go to graduation and you didn't want us to fly out because it was expensive. You told us you got a job at a lab in Boston."

"All lies, yeah. Mom, if you're mad now, you're going to hate me soon. Are you sure you're prepared to hear the rest of this story?"

"Yes, I am." She said, composing herself, grabbing Mike's hand, "Continue."

"I moved to New York after not being able to find full-time work. I thought maybe it would be better there, that maybe I would go back, finish school. I didn't. I started working at a florist, making just a little over barely enough to live in a small studio apartment and buy myself some food on a regular basis. I thought maybe it would turn around. Then the florist cut back on my hours. I looked for other jobs. Nothing was panning out. I was panicking."

"Why didn't you call us and tell us what was happening? We would have sent you money." Mike interjected.

"Don't even lie to my face like that. You would have freaked. You would have told me that I deserved to be poor after what I did."

"Why in God's green earth do you think I would tell you that? What ever gave you the indication that we are heartless?" Angela snapped, "We are your parents."

"Mom, honest to God, you were emotionally distant at best when I was growing up. There was nothing I could ever do to please you, and of course, true to form, I have disappointed you once again. Congratulations for knowing me better than anyone else on the planet." She said with venom,

"Let me finish my story. I got desperate. Worse came to worse, and I thought about someone who could help me. I had a friend at Harvard who used to sell marijuana, cocaine, Adderall, what have you. I emailed him and asked him if we could meet up, talk. Turns out he lived in New York, had some cushy job at some law firm that his father hooked him up with. Typical trust fund brat. He initially wanted nothing to do with me, but I persisted. He gave me contact information for one of his main dealers, and I talked to him. I worked for him, started at marijuana, graduated to heroin and prescription drugs. I was making so much money I didn't know what to do with it. I started getting concerned that we were going to get caught, so I backed out, paid him off to not say anything. I got a nicer apartment, a nicer car, lived like a fucking queen. I got power hungry. I wanted something bigger than dealing prescription drugs to ignorant freshmen at NYU and Columbia. I used my connections to get chemicals, biological warfare kind of stuff."

"Jesus Christ." Angela and Mike said at the same time.

She raised her eyebrows, "I told you it was going to get worse. My crimes escalated, poisoning air and water, for example. I came in contact with the Joker, then. I imagine you've heard of him?"

My back stiffened. How could she mention him in front of me? She deliberately kept eye contact with her mother.

"Yes, I've heard of him. They say he's one of the most elusive fugitives in New York's crime history."

I couldn't help but a smile a little to myself.

"Yes, that would be him. He wanted me to get in with him on a job. His ex-girlfriend was hiding out at Bruce Wayne's mansion and he wanted to blow the place sky-high, but he didn't want his lady friend to get blown up along with it. My job was to help plant the bombs, and be around the area to help scoop up Harley – that's her name – before she got crushed." She bit her lip, her eyes averted from mine.

I had literally heard none of this part of the story before. It all made sense, but I was still completely shocked. She helped plan Bruce's murder, and she never fucking told me. All these years, she never told me. I could understand why, but it didn't make it right. I had to sit there and stew for the time being. I couldn't give anything away about my true self.

"I rescued her, took her to live with me, and nursed her back to health. We became very close during that time. Here comes the complicated part of my story. You see, I've always considered myself to be at least bisexual."

Mike closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. Angela remained silent.

"Ever since Jason, I wanted no part of men. I had feelings for Harley, but she rejected me. I was depressed for months over it. I mean, really, I never fully got over it. But she was in love with Bruce, and he with her. They were going to get married. I wasn't going to ruin anything. I found another girlfriend, and her name was – I mean, whatever, is – Selina Kyle, otherwise known as Catwoman, a jewel thief. Selina was also bisexual, but we just had a fling. It turned into a romance, but she was also having a little affair with Bruce Wayne and got pregnant with his child."

"This is like a fucking soap opera." Angela commented.

"You're telling me." I said, finally speaking up.

"She wanted nothing to do with him and we stayed together. We…got married."

"WHAT?!" Angela stood up, and Mike put a hand on her arm, "Calm down, dear."

"MARRIED. Without even telling us anything?!"

"I didn't think you would exactly want to walk me down the aisle to my pregnant girlfriend."

"That's…kind of true." She said, sinking back into our seat. She looked pale, haggard after all this information.

"We moved to Wyoming together, along with her son Edward. We were happy for a short period of time, but she grew unhappy very quickly. She and Bruce ran away to Italy, with Edward. I was devastated."

"This legitimately should be a TV show, you could write a TV show." Angela muttered.

"I got myself back on my feet, did what I could to survive. I got rid of the house – actually, I think I still own it, I should probably check on that – and moved back to New York. I met a girl named Barbara. We got close very quickly, but it turned out she was working for the Gotham police department the whole time; her father is the commissioner. You'll probably meet him. So, here I am, in prison, basically fucked over by my own indiscretions." Pam said, exhaling deeply, "God, it feels pretty good to actually say all this stuff out loud."

Meanwhile, Angela and Mike were just sitting there, mouths agape. Mike finally turned to me, "You knew about all of this?"

"Yes, 99 percent of it." I said, glaring at her pointedly, "A few details were amiss."

"Well, now that we know everything, we need to get a lawyer, right?" Angela said, sitting back in her chair, "Annabelle, you said Bruce can help us with that?"

"Yes, he can. He's got a couple people we can meet with tomorrow and explain the case. They're sharks, I assume." I replied.

"We're definitely going to need a shark." Angela pursed her lips, "Good Lord, Pamela, what the hell have you done?"

"I ask myself that question every day, Mom."

…

We talked to Pam for a few more minutes, and then they told us that visiting hours were over unless we had to be there otherwise, which we didn't, so we all gave her a hug goodbye. We told her it was going to be alright, that we were going to take care of everything. She just gave us her bravest smile, and they sent her on her way.

The whole walk to the car, Angela and Mike were dead silent. They were dead silent even when we got in the car and halfway back to Bruce's, Angela finally said, "I don't know how we're going to win this."

"Thank God someone said something." Mike sighed with relief, "Honey, this is worse than we ever imagined."

"Yes, well, this is our daughter in there. We have to do something." She said firmly.

"I know, I know, dear. I'm just…thinking that this is very, very bad. She's done some really illegal stuff here, and on top of that, she was caught red-handed. She admitted everything to this Barbara person."

"Do you know her?" Angela shot at me, startling me from my zoning out on the road.

"Yeah, I met her a couple times. Didn't really think too much of her, but I wanted Pam to be happy."

"What about this Harley person? Do you think we should contact her? Does she have anything to do with this? It sounds like they were very close."

"They are very close." I affirmed, trying not to betray my personal feelings, "But she lives in Italy."

"I have reason to believe that she doesn't live in Italy."

My heart pounded in my chest. I barely heard myself say, "Oh, really? And why would you think that?"

"Because I'm talking to her right now."


	4. My Stage Now

**A/N: This chapter worked out quite nicely. I'd been picturing this part for a while and talked it out to myself a lot before writing it and I think it turned out like I planned. Hope you enjoy and keep reading!  
**

Chapter 4: My Stage Now

_I've seen the world, lit it up as my stage now_

_Channeling angels in the new age now_

_Hot summer days, rock and roll_

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?_

"_Young and Beautiful", Lana del Rey _

I'm pretty sure I almost drove into the nearest median but I held my ground, "What do you mean, Angela?"

"I mean I know you are Harleen Quinzel."

"How?" I asked weakly. I had to give in, because there was no point in denying it.

"Bruce."

"I figured." I sighed.

"He didn't want us to be lied to."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" I asked.

"No, not really, dear. I know why you have to hide." Angela shrugged, "Don't worry, I'm not planning on telling anyone."

"Well, I figured you wouldn't, but I just have to keep it quiet."

"We understand." Mike said, "We just didn't want you to keep up the charade around us. It's better this way."

"No, you're right. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you guys to be put in danger or anything. Bruce has a big fat mouth."

"He is looking out for your best interests." Angela chided.

"Bruce Wayne only ever looks out for Bruce Wayne." I said, shaking my head.

"Ah, your history is very complicated." She said sagely.

"Oh, honey, is it ever."

"I could sense that there was a closeness but I didn't know what kind. Pam said you guys were engaged?"

"Yes." I answered curtly.

"What happened?"

"I really don't feel like rehashing this stuff."

"Briefly explain."

What was she, a college essay? "Briefly explain how your life is so fucked up" by Harleen Frances Quinzel. That could be a dissertation.

"We dated, got engaged, I didn't want to settle down, so when the Joker crashed our wedding, I went with him, had his child, and then I left him too." Actually it didn't sound as bad in a short sentence. Just have to leave out all the pain and emotional turmoil.

"Wow." She whistled.

"Yup." I drawled.

Mike remained inexplicably silent during this conversation. Finally he said, "So, then, you're the one she was in love with before, that she rescued from the building?"

That hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.

"Yes." I replied.

"Just double checking." He pursed his lips, "Did you ever have feelings for our daughter?"

"No, honestly, never. I've only ever considered her a friend, and she is my best friend. The best friend I've ever had in my life." I said, and this was the absolute truth. I told Pam countless times that I was not interested in women, and it was true. I loved her in the way that one loves their sibling. Pam had done more for me than anyone else in my family or friends combined and she understood me. I would risk a little infatuation for that.

"We didn't doubt that." Angela said, "Clearly you've given up your security to be here, and that shows us that you care just as much for her as she does for you."

"Of course." I affirmed. We were pulling into Bruce's driveway.

We all piled out of the car and went in through the kitchen where Alfred was prepping for lunch.

"Hello all." He greeted us, "Things fare alright for you at the prison?"

"As alright as they can be." Mike replied curtly and he walked out.

Angela looked at me, then at Alfred, "Well, I guess I should go after him. This has been a very emotional day."

"Yeah, I understand." I said.

She disappeared through the doors, calling, "Michael! Michael, darling, let me talk to you!"

Alfred turned to me with a skeptical eyebrow.

I mimicked putting a gun to my head, and he nodded sagely in agreement, "That bad, hmm?"

"You have no idea, Alfred." I sighed, and left the kitchen to locate Bruce.

He was in his office, typing away at his computer while Edward was playing on a mat in the center of the floor with some blocks. I kneeled down by him, and helped him put a block on top of the other. He pointed, "Da!"

I looked up at Bruce, who smiled, "Da is me."

"That's entirely too precious. I'm going to throw up." I said, beaming.

He closed his laptop and sat on the floor, "Yes, I see, Edward. Good job. Did Harley help you?"

Edward did not answer but continued to be focused on his block-building skills. He really was so much like Bruce; the dark hair, the skin tone, and the same focused attitude. His eyes were the only telling feature of Selina's, green as jade, just like hers. I didn't know if that hurt Bruce at all, to see a part of her still lingering around. It didn't seem to bother him too much at this point. It had been a few months since she had disappeared without a trace. No one had heard from her since then. I imagined she'd turn up at some point in time, but who knows when that was going to be.

"He's the strong and silent type." Bruce joked.

"Just like his dad." I agreed.

"You think I'm like that?"

"I would say 100 hundred percent yes, you are indeed like that."

He shrugged, "I guess I have to agree."

We were silent for a couple minutes, only listening to Edward gurgle his strange baby language and knock down his blocks.

"So, how did it go today?" Bruce finally asked.

"So, so very shitty." I laid on my back on the floor.

"Elaborate." He instructed.

"Pam told them pretty much everything and they are shocked, basically. Mike just stormed up to their room. I hope Angela can talk him out of this funk because we have a long fucking way to go." I said, "And I found out that the Joker enlisted her to save me when he blew up part of your house. I mean, I knew that she was involved with him but I didn't realize how far back that connection went, you know? I feel a little betrayed."

"I don't blame you." He started to massage my foot, which threw me off guard a little but I continued talking, "She told them all about the lesbian stuff, Selina, the professor…but she didn't exactly tell them about what happened to Jason."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"I don't know. I think I should because I don't want them to be blind-sided by the whole murder thing. Oh and uh, while I'm on the subject-" I pulled my foot away, "Thanks for telling them who I am, fuck-head."

"What do you want me to say? They need to know the truth before we move forward. It seems stupid and hypocritical for you to tell Pam not to lie and then you turn around and lie to them."

He had a point but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I acknowledged that.

"Yes well…they brought it up and I was like fuck, considering Pam told them she used to be in love with me."

"How was that relevant to the story?" he furrowed his brow.

"I don't know but she decided to tell the truth on that and make it SO VERY AWKWARD." I put my hands over my face, exasperated, "Jesus Christ."

"It'll be fine, Harley." He said reassuringly.

"Yeah I figure it will be eventually but it still sucks." I sat up, hugging my knees, "Did you talk to any lawyers today?"

"Yes, I have three appointments lined up for you guys tomorrow. You can decide from there. They're all excellent lawyers, recommended, so I think it just depends on who you guys can connect with the most and see how they would handle the case."

"Makes sense. Thanks for doing that."

"Not a problem. I just can't be too involved in this, so I'll do whatever I can do to help from the sidelines." He shrugged, "Once you and the Isleys pick someone, make sure you set up a time for the four of you to go to the prison and meet with her to discuss the case."

"We will."

He grabbed my hand, "Are you ok? You seem sad."

"This is all just a little overwhelming. I never thought that this could happen, me leaving him, Pam going to jail, me being back here, reuniting Pam with her parents…this is a hot goddamn mess." I wiped at my eyes, which were beginning to well with tears, "I don't know if I can handle this on my own."

"You don't have to." He pulled me into a hug, and I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment. The whole embrace felt very familiar, very safe.

"Harley?" he said quietly.

I lifted my head, "What?"

And then he kissed me. And I didn't push him away. I let him kiss me. The part of me that was lonely and desperate let him kiss me. It was stupid but I did it. I'm sure everyone at this point in my life was sick to death of the constant back and forth between Bruce and me, but Bruce…Bruce was a part of my life I couldn't let go. Bruce was with me through the toughest and most emotional times in my life. He was an indelible force, a love I would never regret. Sometimes I thought to myself, maybe the Joker was the person I had to learn from in love, but Bruce was always the solid choice, the husband. Who knew if this was ever going to be true? I just had to live in the moment and make my own choices.

He put his hands through my hair, touched my neck gently, like he always used to do. The gesture was so familiar it gave me a chill. He wrapped his arms around me, putting his hands up the back of my shirt. I heard footsteps, so I tried to grunt, "Stop" but he jerked away, looking up suddenly.

Angela was standing inside the doorframe, lips drawn into a thin line, "Hello."

"Hi!" Bruce scrambled to get up, "I'm sorry, Angela, this is extremely uncomfortable."

"In front of a baby." She shook her head, "Shameful."

Bruce flushed, "Yeah, it got out of hand. Did you want to talk to me?"

"No, to Harley, once she composes herself." Angela gave me a pointed glare.

I stood up, straightening my shirt, "Yes, let's go up to my room."

"That would be fine." She said and turned on her heel.

I followed her and gave Bruce a helpless look. He said, "Don't worry about it."

"We'll discuss this later." I snapped and then I strode after Angela. We went up to my 'room' in the house, which was primarily a guest room before I temporarily moved in. She sat down on the edge of my bed, kicking off her heels.

"Close the door." She demanded, and I obliged.

I sat down on the bed, "What's up?"

"Well, I had other things I wanted to talk to you about, but I think we have something new we need to address first." Angela folded her arms across her chest.

"Yeah…" I couldn't deny what had just happened.

"I thought you weren't together."

"We aren't. Again, this is complicated. Bruce and I relapse from time to time and then I would keep going back to the Joker. But now, I don't have him so I don't know what I'm going to do." It felt strangely good to admit that out loud.

"You are certainly a sucker for punishment."

"That I am." I affirmed.

"That aside, you need to be careful with this. I imagine your ex-boyfriend is not going to be happy with this situation. He's a criminal mastermind. Don't you think he has you followed?"

"He used to have me followed when we lived here, yes, but he got rid of his staff when we went to Italy. I mean, it's entirely possible that he may have me followed now, but if he could talk to me like a man, that would help."

"You haven't talked since you left?"

"No. I left him a note. He has connections everywhere. I imagine he knows where I am right now, and that's ok. He can't exactly come out of hiding now because he has our daughter to worry about."

"Well, that's the other conversation I wanted to have with you."

"Oh, Jesus." I groaned.

"Don't groan. You have to listen to me, and listen well, alright? I have some very valuable advice for you and you may take it or leave it, but you need to listen." Angela said, a slight hint of anxiety in her tone, almost frantic in a way.

I sat back. This was serious.

"Yeah, I'll listen. Tell me what you want to say."

She exhaled deeply, "Harley, we have a lot more in common than you think. Let me tell you a little about myself. Do you know how Mike and I met?"

"No, I never heard that story." I shook my head.

"Well, we met at work. I had just graduated from business school and got a job as an accountant at Mike's company. I was the only female accountant there at the time. I thought Mike was a – what do you young people say now, a douchebag right? – a trust fund baby. His grandfather founded the company and his father and then Mike, all billionaires. One night, we had to stay for a company meeting and to work on a project and Mike and I ended up being the only ones left at like 3 o'clock in the morning, and I fell in love with him that night. But, there was a little complication: Mike was married."

"What?!" I exclaimed, "No way!"

"Yes, he was married, but no children. He had only been married about 2 years, to his high school sweetheart. We started having an affair and I fell even more in love with him every day, and him with me. After about 6 months, I basically told him to shit or get off the pot with telling his wife. I said it was me or her and I meant it. He left her the next week. As soon as the divorce papers were finalized, we got married at the courthouse, no pomp or circumstance. We didn't want children. Mike was incredibly busy at work all the time and I didn't want to give up my freedom. I didn't want to give up my body."

"Amen!" I said and she high-fived me.

"Anyway, after a few years, many of me and Mike's friends started having children. We always felt so awkward around them and people would always ask, oh when are you two having kids? And we never knew how to answer. We used to just say that we weren't trying yet or we were too busy and waiting for work to slow down. We sat down to have a talk about it and agreed that maybe we should just let the cards fall where they may. A few months later, I was pregnant with Pam. I was terrified of the whole process, but my pregnancy went great, very little problems and Pamela's birth was relatively quick and without complications. Don't get me wrong, I loved my daughter the moment I saw her, but I never felt like a mother." Her voice choked a little. I was shocked. I didn't picture her to be an emotional person.

"Believe me, I felt the same way." I said, grabbing her hand, "Olivia was the love of my life, but I had no clue what to do about being a mother. I never felt like one."

"See, this is why we are having this conversation. I withdrew from my baby. I hired a nanny as soon as humanly possible, didn't breastfeed, didn't put her down for naps. I went to the gym and my tennis lessons and went shopping. I ignored my responsibilities for much longer than I care to admit. Mike was no help, either. He was constantly working and maintaining a business. So, when Pamela said I was cold and distant, she wasn't entirely wrong. I was not there for her in all aspects of her life. However, what she forgets is that we paid for her to do whatever she wanted. I bought that kid a damn pony when she was 6 because she really wanted one, and she rode the thing once and got bored so I sold it to my house breeder friend so it didn't go to waste. We paid for tennis lessons, dance classes, a brand new car on her sixteenth birthday along with a huge party. We went to her piano recitals and her gymnastics competitions and every important event of her life. We did not neglect her like she claims we did."

"Well, I grew up with the same advantages in life."

"I can tell. We sent her to the best schools, and she was so, so very smart. She got into Harvard and we were so proud. That girl could have cured cancer, but she threw it all away for a man. Go figure. But my point is, I was an emotionally distant parent and look what's happened to her. I don't want that to happen to your daughter. I don't want her to suffer like Pam has and to end up like Pam. I don't want you to be in the position that I'm in, knowing that your only child could go to jail for life."

"What do you want me to do, Angela? I walked out on my boyfriend and my child. He's never going to let me see her again." I was crying now without abandon, "I've lost my daughter."

"No you haven't. You can get her back, and I am going to help you." Angela said, determined, "My only condition is that I know that you're ready to get her back and that we can get to it once we take care of Pam."

"I mean, I'm all for getting Olivia back, but I don't know how we're going to do that." I said helplessly, "It's going to be difficult."

"That's my specialty." She said, standing up, "I've already told Michael that we're helping you and he agreed with the same conditions."

"Well, ok, then. Let's commence operation get Harley's daughter back."

"We need to come up with a different name."

"Fine."


End file.
